"Skinny" is Not a Compliment

I wish I wasn't writing a blog about this. 

But, there is a situation that's been happening too frequently and it's made it apparent that there needs to be some conversation on this.

I lost about 30 lbs. over the past year and some. I've always been more naturally thin, but had gained over the past years.

This transformation has brought about an influx of comments from people everywhere. There have been some really nice compliments and reactions that made me feel good.

Then, there have been the alarming number of off-putting "compliments" and comments.

I do not write this with any malicious intent and I don't feel like the people I'm referencing have had malicious intent either. They may have intended it as a compliment. Or, they were just shocked by the transformation and it came out before they could think.

But, I'm here to tell everyone that "skinny" is not a compliment. 

"Scrawny" is not a compliment.

Especially if you are a friend.

Telling someone that they "need to eat" or "I hate you, you're so skinny" is not okay.

When it's happened. Over and over again... I've always been caught off-guard and left feeling a little ucky.

I like to think that I have a little bit of curves and I like to eat.

Is "skinny" really a nice thing to call someone?

Let's check out the definition in the dictionary...

skin·ny

ˈskinē/skinnier; skinniest

1: resembling skin : membranous

2a : lacking sufficient flesh : very thin : emaciated

: lacking usual or desirable bulk, quantity, qualities, or significance

I would say that "lacking sufficient flesh" or "lacking usual or desirable significance" (ouch) is NOT ideal.

Let's check out the definition of "scrawny" while we're at it...

scrawn·y

ˈskrônē/

adjective

1. (of a person or animal) unattractively thin and bony.

   synonyms:

   skinny, thin, lean, as thin as a rake, skin-and-bones, gaunt, bony, angular, gawky, scraggy, rawboned, size-zero;

I think it is pretty clear that these adjectives are not compliments.

I have a friend who lost a fair amount of weight and I heard the comments behind her back.

"She's TOO thin" "She looks sick" "I wish I was skinny, but not THAT skinny."

What if she is sick? 

It's not nice.

Some ideas of alternative compliments to give someone about their transformation:

You look great!

Wow!

You look fantastic!

You look phenomenal!

You go girl!

You look beautiful!

You look incredible!

You're a babe!

Over months and months of interactions, I have had many wonderful tasteful compliments. I have been surrounded by many positive people who have celebrated my transformation.

It would be nice to live in a world where we could be proud of our bodies and not feel ashamed regardless of what size we are.

We need to work more on loving each other and building each other up rather than passing judgement and letting our own insecurities bring others down.

You don't know what another person is going through.

Let's all make an effort to treat people a little nicer... including ourselves.

We all have insecurities. We all have challenges and fears and heartbreak. We all have strengths. We all have blessings and talents and beautiful parts.

Let's work on building some beauty inside so we can all be happy in our own skin.